Selected Murphy’s Computer Laws

Murphy’s Law typically states that “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”. Following are some selected modern “laws” from computers/IT field. Enjoy them :-)

• When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen
• The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
• He who laughs last probably had made a backup.
• The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
• No matter how many resources you have, they are never enough.
• Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
• The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
• Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
• A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
• If a program hasn’t crashed yet, it is waiting for a critical moment before it crashes.
• Software bugs are impossible to detect by anybody except the end user.
• The maintenance engineer will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
• All constants are variables.
• The best way to see your boss is to access the Internet.
• The number of bugs always exceeds the number of lines found in a program.
• The most ominous words for those using computers: “Daddy, what does ‘Now formatting Drive C’ mean?“
• It’s not a bug, it’s an undocumented feature.
• The only program that runs perfectly every time, is a virus
• If it works, it’s production. If it doesn’t, it’s a test.
• The best way past a pesky security feature is a 13-year-old.
• Make a system even a moron can use and a moron will use it.
• Computers let you waste time efficiently
• No matter what problem you have with your computer; it’s always Microsoft’s fault. If it’s not their fault; blame them anyway!
• A program that compiles on the first run has an error in the algorithm.
• A computer is only as smart as the person using it
• All’s well that ends.
• The first myth of management is that it exists.
• If it’s not in the computer, it doesn’t exist.
• When all else fails, read the instructions.
• A screw will never fit a nut.
• An expert will always state the obvious.
• The boss is always right.
  Corollary: If the boss is wrong, refer back to the rule.