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Facebook Bio: Best of Cool One Liner Quotes and Art

Cool Facebook bio one liners
Samyak Lalit | December 16, 2016 (Last update: July 31, 2017)

Samyak Lalit is an Indian author and disability rights activist. He is the principal author and founder of projects like TechWelkin, WeCapable, Viklangta, Kavita Kosh among many others.

Facebook has completed rolling out a feature which allows users to write a short Facebook bio in the intro field on their timeline. This is basically a short introduction of the person. The aim of this introduction is to tell the timeline visitors about the person in a nutshell. However, most users prefer to use some clever lines in their Facebook bio. Today, we are publishing a list of such cool Facebook bio lines. In the past we have also published some clever one liners for WhatsApp and Twitter. You may also read these two articles for more one-liners that could be your perfect Facebook bio.

We also have ASCII text art and text symbols for your Facebook bio. Just copy and paste as part of your textual bio status.

Now let’s dive into the list of sentences that are creative, funny, fancy and… cool!

  1. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. [tweet]
  2. On a scale of 1 to 10, I am an 11. [tweet]
  3. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. [tweet]
  4. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. [tweet]
  5. REHAB is for quitters! [tweet]
  6. Where the hell am I and how did I get here? [tweet]
  7. Always give your 100 percent… unless you’re donating blood. [tweet]
  8. Last name “hungry”, first name “always”. [tweet]
  9. Life is too short to update Facebook bio. [tweet]
  10. I am going to reveal the two secrets of my success: (1) Don’t reveal everything. [tweet]

We hope that you’re glued to this list and want to explore more lines for your Facebook bio. Read on!

Cool Facebook bio one liners

  1. I say no to alcohol daily, it just doesn’t listen. [tweet]
  2. I didn’t change, I just woke up. [tweet]
  3. Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. [tweet]
  4. I’m so poor, I can’t even pay attention! [tweet]
  5. In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify…” I answered, “a doctor.” [tweet]
  6. Keep rolling your eyes. May be one day you’ll find a brain back there. [tweet]
  7. Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. [tweet]
  8. I am actually not funny. I am just really mean and people think I am joking. [tweet]
  9. Too busy to update a bio. [tweet]
  10. I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. Just can’t figure out who’s going to do it. [tweet]
  11. I am going to update my bio… but you better focus on your own. [tweet]
  12. Bio under construction… check back soon! [tweet]
  13. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. [tweet]
  14. Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right. [tweet]
  15. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. [tweet]
  16. Sky is not the limit… the mind is. [tweet]
  17. Of course I am not perfect; there’s a crack in my a$$ [tweet]
  18. Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account. [tweet]
  19. 3 things I want in a relationship: Eyes that wont cry, lips than wont lie, and love that wont die. [tweet]
  20. Life is scary; at least the salary is funny. [tweet]
  21. Remember half the people you know are below average. [tweet]
  22. Our marriage is like workshops. I work and my wife shops! [tweet]
  23. Me fail English? That’s unpossible! [tweet]
  24. I am known at the gym as the “before picture.” [tweet]
  25. I am not a player… I’m the game. [tweet]
  26. Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. [tweet]
  27. Stop being in the Rat Race and start living your life. [tweet]
  28. Hard work never killed anyone… but why take the chance? [tweet]
  29. Then they call me ugly and poor. [tweet]
  30. I have not failed… my success just postponed for some time. [tweet]

Enjoying?! We are not yet done. It’s just the beginning… read on and find more Facebook bio from store!

  1. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? [tweet]
  2. Since light travels faster than sound, I appear bright until you hear me speak. [tweet]
  3. What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free? [tweet]
  4. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. [tweet]
  5. I hold the key to world peace; but somebody changed the lock! [tweet]
  6. Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go. [tweet]
  7. Infuriatingly humble reader. [tweet]
  8. I’ve never been able to figure out this damn Facebook bio thing. [tweet]
  9. If there’s no love in the world… let’s make some. [tweet]
  10. One person’s LOL is another’s WTF. [tweet]
  11. At last I graduated… now thermometer is not the only thing in the world having degrees without brains. [tweet]
  12. If I keep paying attention, I’m going to be in debt. [tweet]
  13. Life is too short. Don’t waste it copying my Bio…! [tweet]
  14. I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. [tweet]
  15. That cool moment when I feel proud… when a girl asks “are you on Facebook? [tweet]
  16. People say you’ve changed, well I couldn’t stay a sperm forever! could I? [tweet]
  17. I still don’t understand Facebook, but here I am! [tweet]
  18. There are no winners in life… only survivors. [tweet]
  19. Think about doing something than doing someone! [tweet]
  20. Professional procrastinator [tweet]
  21. A caffeine dependent life-form. [tweet]
  22. I don’t make mistakes, I date them. [tweet]
  23. We are all going to hell and I am driving the bus [tweet]
  24. Remember that guy who gave up? Neither does no one else. [tweet]
  25. I’m not crazy my reality is just different than yours. [tweet]
  26. Due to an intense mind fog, all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice. [tweet]
  27. Heaven won’t have me… and hell is afraid I’ll take over! [tweet]
  28. Who said money can’t buy happiness, I think he was using money wrong. [tweet]
  29. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. [tweet]
  30. My job is secure. No one else wants it. [tweet]
  31. I used to have a handle on life… but it broke. [tweet]
  32. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. [tweet]
  33. At the end of the day, life should ask us “do you want to save the changes?” [tweet]
  34. I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties. [tweet]
  35. Sometimes you just need some space… to fart. [tweet]
  36. God gave me a lot of hair, but not a lot of height [tweet]
  37. Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me. [tweet]
  38. Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” – some dead guy [tweet]
  39. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. [tweet]
  40. Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people. [tweet]
  41. It’s not an attitude, it’s the way I am. [tweet]
  42. CGPA available for adoption – Can’t raise it myself. [tweet]
  43. They say money doesn’t bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves. [tweet]
  44. I need 6 months of vacations, twice a year. [tweet]
  45. Bio changed, just for the sake of changing it. [tweet]
  46. Losing everything but weight. [tweet]
  47. The future is shaped by your dreams. So stop wasting time and go to sleep! [tweet]
  48. A nomad in search for the perfect burger. [tweet]
  49. Do not judge me before you know me, but just to inform you, you wont like me. [tweet]
  50. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. [tweet]
  51. Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. [tweet]
  52. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. [tweet]
  53. A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery [tweet]
  54. If you’re not wasted, the day is! [tweet]
  55. Analogue at birth, digital by design. [tweet]
  56. Spreading smiles like they’re herpes. [tweet]
  57. In some cultures what I do is considered normal. [tweet]
  58. I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too. [tweet]
  59. I only drink on two occasions. When it’s my birthday and when it’s not. [tweet]
  60. Die with memories, not dreams! [tweet]
  61. I will be back before you pronunce “eqwtkarepoinkdwrafkhjfdhsa”. [tweet]
  62. Study economics when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why. [tweet]
  63. I am definitely a morning person if morning starts from noon. [tweet]
  64. People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day. [tweet]
  65. You can’t have everything… where would you put it? [tweet]
  66. There are two kinds of people in this world… and I don’t like them. [tweet]
  67. The best of me is yet to come. [tweet]
  68. Never forget, the world is yours. Terms and Conditions Apply. [tweet]
  69. Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes? [tweet]
  70. If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila! [tweet]
  71. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. [tweet]
  72. I think, therefore I am single. [tweet]
  73. The most you can expect from me is unconditional “like”. [tweet]
  74. I smile because I have no idea what is going on [tweet]
  75. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. [tweet]
  76. People call me “Mike”. But, you can call me tonight. [tweet]
  77. My Brain Is Divided Into Two Parts: Right & Left. In Right Nothing Is Left. In Left Nothing Is Right. [tweet]
  78. I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure. [tweet]
  79. I’m not smart. I just wear glasses. [tweet]
  80. One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching. [tweet]
  81. Is everything expensive or am I just poor? [tweet]
  82. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. [tweet]
  83. I need patience. NOW! [tweet]
  84. My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner. [tweet]
  85. If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool. [tweet]
  86. When I was born I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year & a half. [tweet]
  87. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. [tweet]
  88. I’m not glad it’s “Friday”… I’m glad it’s “Today”. I Love my life 7 days a week. [tweet]
  89. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. [tweet]
  90. Whenever I find the key to success someone changes the lock. [tweet]
  91. Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s about learning to dance in the rain! [tweet]
  92. Time flies… after you hit the snooze button. [tweet]
  93. Accept who you are unless you’re a serial killer. [tweet]
  94. I’m not special, I’m just limited edition. [tweet]
  95. I haven’t seen a sunrise in so long I joined Facebook. [tweet]
  96. I started with nothing, and I still have most of it. [tweet]
  97. I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life. [tweet]
  98. When nothing seems right… go left! [tweet]
  99. My road to success always seems to be under construction. [tweet]
  100. Born at a very young age. [tweet]
  101. Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, just like stupidity falls from yours. [tweet]
  102. My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore. [tweet]
  103. I am not on Facebook. Go do something useful. [tweet]
  104. Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off! [tweet]
  105. Life F#ck$d me — now its my turn. [tweet]
  106. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right. [tweet]
  107. Weird is a side effect of awesome. [tweet]
  108. I am so open-minded, my brains will fall out some day. [tweet]
  109. I am not a complete idiot — some parts are missing. [tweet]
  110. Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. [tweet]
  111. Buddy, can you paradigm? [tweet]
  112. Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude? [tweet]
  113. It’s not just me… after Monday, Tuesday even the calender says W,T,F! [tweet]
  114. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done. [tweet]
  115. Contributing to Entropy since 1990. [tweet]
  116. Don’t be sad because of people, they will all die. [tweet]
  117. God is really creative. I mean… just look at me! [tweet]
  118. My mind’s made up — don’t confuse me with facts. [tweet]
  119. I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday. [tweet]
  120. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. [tweet]
  121. I am 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Because I am basic. [tweet]
  122. I’m Jealous of my parents… I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs! [tweet]
  123. I’m saving my abstinence for marriage. [tweet]
  124. Award-winning alcohol evangelist. Total introvert. Wannabe troublemaker. Bacon enthusiast. [tweet]
  125. Acts like summer & walks like rain. [tweet]
  126. Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them. [tweet]
  127. Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius. [tweet]
  128. Busy making history. [tweet]
  129. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. [tweet]
  130. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. [tweet]
  131. The light at the end of the tunnel – are the front lights of a train. [tweet]
  132. I can resist everything except temptation. [tweet]
  133. I can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why. [tweet]
  134. Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing whether to say it or not. [tweet]
  135. I have to be funny because being hot is not an option. [tweet]
  136. I wanna be different just like everyone else. [tweet]
  137. I am so good at sleeping; I can do it with my eyes closed. [tweet]
  138. Error: Facebook bio unavailable. [tweet]
  139. Facebook bio is loading… [tweet]
  140. The last thing I want to do is hurt you…. but it’s still on my list. [tweet]
  141. Without ME, it’s just AWESO. [tweet]
  142. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. [tweet]
  143. The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation. [tweet]
  144. I am not fat, I am just easier to see. [tweet]
  145. Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going. [tweet]
  146. God bless this hot mess. [tweet]
  147. *Insert your Facebook bio here* [tweet]
  148. I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice. [tweet]
  149. Life is dumb and I want to sleep. [tweet]
  150. I’m cool but Global Warming made me HOT. [tweet]
  151. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. [tweet]
  152. Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. [tweet]
  153. My blood is made of coffee. [tweet]
  154. Do you remember my Facebook username? I locked myself out and I do not know what to do [tweet]
  155. I swear to drunk I am not God! [tweet]

We hope you liked these one-liners that you can use as your Facebook bio. We will keep on updating this list. So, stay tuned. If you also have something clever to add to this list, please feel free to comment. We will add selected one-liners to the above list along with your name! Thank you for using TechWelkin!


3 responses to “Facebook Bio: Best of Cool One Liner Quotes and Art”

  1. Promise says:

    Really nice and the words are cute

  2. leks says:

    it is enjoyable

  3. Roderic says:

    Thanks! I enjoyed it. so funny and nice. ?

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